CraigyB writes “Both Berkswell’s Sunday League sides suffered defeats over the weekend against fierce rivals Corley.
In a contest restricted to 35 overs a-side because of the ‘Eng-er-land’ football match, Berkswell’s 1st XI amassed an impressive looking 181 for 5.
Vice Skipper Dominic Martin super-spanked Corley’s attack for a ‘quick-fire’ 69 only to finish on the losing side when the visitors passed Berkswell’s total with only one ball to spare …
Skipper Craig Burgess cited a range of contributory factors to his team’s shock defeat.
“First of all Corley asked us to start early because of the football, then they turned up late. That really threw us.”
‘then later on we didn’t have any food before we fielded, we didn’t do enough grazing in the outfield and there weren’t enough giraffe’s about”
When asked if there were any actual cricketing reasons for the side losing Craig looked shocked … when he gathered himself together he replied,
“Well, er … yeah … erm, yeah we had a big player shortage this week and fielded a very, very, young side including an 11 year old, three 15 year olds, two 18 year olds and a 20 year old, all of whom played magnificently. In the circumstances we did really well!”
“I’m immensely proud of our boys and I really should mention their ability to polish off a post-match barbecue is second to none.”
Between bizarre comments Mr Burgess heaped prais on youngsters Thomas Milnes (aged 11) who had been trusted with the new ball and Josh Audi (aged 15) who batted magnificently to finish up with 29 not out.
“Everybody who comes into the side each week has something unique to offer, especially in the food eating department.” said Craig
Suddenly the skipper’s focus switched to league tables,
“Hey did you know, if our league position was based on our cooking we’d be bottom of the table.” While he said this, what had previously been a large bowl of onions went past, accompanied by a junior player who had somehow transformed them into a yucky brown pulp.